For the past few years I have decided the be part of the Movember campaign – a well-known platform to help raise awareness and funds for men’s health. Also, for the second year I have attended the “I’m Just A Man “gala night established by Jim Skivalidas who went through a very challenging period in his life, losing his chiropractic clinic due to fire. One day he was a proud business owner with vision and mission to help others in need and the next day he lost his livelihood and then almost his life.

On Jim’s website there is a crazy statistic; 6 males pass away every day from suicide – and this is just in Australia. Since 2018 November the number of male suicides is over 3120. For me this is very alarming and raises questions.

Why? And what can we do about it?

I am definitely not an expert of this subject and as I learn more it seems to be a very complex problem. The reasons vary and probably cannot even be fully understood. Men in general tend not to communicate about how they feel, not sharing their emotions and try to solve their problems alone without asking for help.

This complex issue could even begin in childhood where we make most of our beliefs about the world, about ourselves and our possibilities. As I was reading research from Robert Dilts who wrote several books on beliefs and human behaviour I paused, and I thought of my own beliefs and possibilities. I also wondered what my two beautiful boys’ beliefs are.

In this research there was a discovery of three ways human beings limit themselves and potentially causing unhappiness, lack of fulfilment and joy in life. One is the state of being hopeless, when we don’t believe any achievement is possible for us. The second is being helpless. This is when we think that we are not capable of doing things. The third is the state of feeling worthless, when we don’t believe we deserve something. Any of these can have a very serious and challenging effect on our lives.

The question is how do we find solutions?

Loads of highly experienced professionals work on this. There is no straightforward solution, especially when it comes to suicide. However, creating platforms and communities where people feel safe to share their struggles, where they feel significant and looked after is a great way to begin.

Jim and many others who in their darkest moments of despair came up with life changing solutions with help from their communities and professionals are shining examples of this.  They found a purpose to live for and created their own life mission. They serve themselves and communities with passion, purpose and action. So, life becomes meaningful, joyful and happy. Is it easy? Maybe not – but the alternative is devastatingly harder.

All men (and women) have their stories of the past. Those stories, however difficult they seem, can be a catalyst to live a life with meaning – both for today and for a long time to come. So, let’s all reach out to people in need by listening with compassion and care. And perhaps we can help them to build a brighter future for both themselves and others.

If you or anyone you know struggles call lifeline in Australia on 13 11 14

How can you help?

Join us on Thursday the 28th of November at 6.15pm for a special Movember event at Yoga Flame. Click here for all the details

To donate to Gabor’s Movember Fundraising page click here





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